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to be continued...

Wordless Wednesday... Feelings?

Yes, I do need a number of medications to keep the depression away. There is a chemical inbalance in my brain. But since I've had a hysterectomy (3 weeks post-op as of yesterday) people suddenly have decided that I will be able to cut my dosages and eventually get off the anti-depressants all together.

Fantastic - I'd love to not have to take all the tablets I take on a daily basis, but come on people! How is having my uterus removed going to affect my serotonin levels significantly enough to reduce my meds? Am I missing something? And why is it so important for everyone to know that I have reduced a dose or come off a medication???

I *need* these meds - I wish I didn't, but the proof is in the numerous times my psychiatrist has attempted to lower my doses from what I'm on atm. It simply doesn't work and I end up on a higher dose than before I started to reduce!!! My medication is my business & my shrink's business. It is *not* everyone else's business. If he says I can try reducing, no problem - I'm in! But until my *shrink* says to go ahead, everyone else can just f*** off!!!

to be continued...

Wordless Wednesday... Sad

Lost

I feel blah. Lost. Withdrawn. I don't feel like talking to anyone, but that's not a realistic "want". It actually really bugs my husband and he gets quite annoyed with me when I withdraw and don't talk to him. Sure, I speak to him, but I don't really *talk* to him. I don't know why; I'm just so caught up in my own thoughts that I don't realise I'm not talking to anyone; not *really* talking. But I also don't really know what the thoughts are that are consuming me and are making me this way.

All I know is that I don't want to be around people.

Two weeks until my hysterectomy. I'm now off all my endometriosis/PCOS meds. Maybe somwe combination of those is a factor. Who knows? I sure as hell don't... I do know, however, that being of my gynae meds is not fun. The endo/PCO is coming back and it's hurting. Real, physical pain. I'm throwing various cocktails of period pain meds and pain killers at it without much success. My little TENS machine I use for my ankle pain has turned out to be brilliant for my cramps and lower back pain though! So that's also comforting in that it will probably be handy during my recovery.

In the mean time, I'll try to be talkative and "Grin and bear it."



to be continued...

Wordless Wednesday... Too many pills

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